Too Beautiful

I was in LensCrafters today and could not take my eyes off the huge promotional poster behind the adjustment table. It was a photograph of a gorgeous man (wearing glasses, of course ūüôā ). He was looking out from the picture with such confidence and something else, something deeply compelling.¬†It was a look of interest, as if he might be attuned to everything about the people he sees — even though he’s just a photo. It’s a look of concentration and absorption that I have wanted to see reflected in someone else, and the beauty of the model has less to do with what his face looks like than the look on his face.

It’s really sad. I am at an age now where seeing that kind of beauty doesn’t make me happy. Rather, it leaves me dejected because I feel that no one will ever look at me like that in person. That intensity and interest that the model was able to conjure up just looking at a camera will always be foreign to me. When I was younger, such a face would leave me hopeful, and I was absolutely certain that there was some man out there who was going to gaze at me that way.

Now it just bums me the hell out.


“The Good ‘Ask'” from Lizzie Post

In tonight’s web crawling, I came across this bit of dating etiquette from Lizzie Post’s book, How Do You Work This Life Thing?¬† I’ve just excerpted a portion, but you can see the entire piece of advice at¬† Hopefully this will be helpful for all the still-singles out there.¬† We are a rare and wonderful breed!


The Good “Ask”

A good “ask” would go something like this:

Tom: “Hi, Elise. How’s it going?”
Elise: “I’m great. How ’bout you?”
Tom: “I’m good, too. Listen, I was wondering if you’d like to go to dinner at that new Thai restaurant on Saturday. I know you’ve been wanting to try it ever since it opened.”

Regardless of whether Elise says yes or no, Tom has just executed a terrific ask. In two sentences, showing both consideration and confidence, he’s suggested a date and a place and indicated that he had considered Elise’s interests and tastes. Whether they’re just friends or he’s asking her out on a first date or they’ve been dating for some time, he did it right.

If the ask results in a “Yeah, sure,” this is the time to establish where and when you’re going to meet. Later, after Tom makes the dinner reservation, he’ll need to call Elise back and fill her in on other details, such as appropriate attire and whether he plans to take her to a movie or some other entertainment before or after dinner. (Tom can also send her the details by email, but a phone call is more personal‚ÄĒand isn’t that what dating is all about? Besides, with email, if the other person doesn’t check his or her in-box frequently, your message could go unread for some time.)

by Lizzie Post from

Hipness Relocation Program

Well, friends, I have officially left the ‘Burg.¬† I’m now living in Henrico County with my parents, where I will probably stay until after my comps in December.¬† (Richmond peeps, do you know of any great apartments in the area?¬†¬†)


Last night I attended¬†a concert by Glennroy Bailey & Company @ the Dogwood Dell.¬† By myself.¬† Doesn’t sound like me, does it?¬† Not really.¬† But I wanted to do something not moving-related.¬† And I wanted to re-kickstart my program of bold steps that I started last spring.¬† I don’t think I’ve given them much thought since last summer, and that fact has really manifested itself in the strong stuck feeling I’ve had in past months.

While I was at the Dell, I mused a lot.¬† One thing I thought about was paths crossing, happenstance resulting in lasting love.¬† All great love starts as a result of a series of interrelated events, really.¬† But there is, in our culture, a fascination with idealized love relationships beginning with preordained but quirky cosmic convergence.¬† The message is that the best we can hope for is an astounding romance to fall from the sky and splatter into our lives.¬† But it’s only amusing if you focus on life like a movie.¬† In order for it to happen that way in real life, you have to know who this great love is the moment you meet.¬† It just doesn’t work like in Serendipity.

The funkiest — and not in a good way — thing about crossing paths is that you can never know, unless someone tells you or some not-so-common surveillance occurs, that you’ve just missed someone.¬† And we may think we want to know the maps of our new and future beloveds’ day-to-day lives.¬† But I suspect if we knew how many times very little, mundane things kept us apart, we’d go mad.

The same¬†goes for wanting to know another’s thoughts.¬† You think you want to know if he¬†ever thinks of you.¬† But what if he does?¬† What if¬†he does think of you while you think of him?¬† If you found out about it after long months or even years of doing nothing about your amorous feelings, you’d be upset, realizing how much time you wasted.¬† That’s the real world ending of Sense and Sensibility, my friends?

So¬†that’s the kind of thing that was on my mind while I enjoyed the concert.¬† When I first arrived I felt weird.¬† I’ve never been there alone and was self conscious.¬† But as I sat alone in my own little clearing on the more sparsely populated side of the ampitheater, I realized that I wasn’t really dorky and uncomfortable.¬† I was utterly cool with my sunshades and my bold and unapologetic aloneness fully on display.¬† I rock.