Nonsense

I can’t believe that only three posts ago I was happy about the arrival of autumn. Autumn! I am now careening into the month of June, and I have not made much progress in much of anything in my life. So … big sad face.

😦

But sadicons are not my reason for getting back to my blog. The real reason is that I want to blog. The problem, though, is that I don’t have much to write about. Tricky.

My Oh-I-have-that-now List!

A while back — in October, I believe — I wrote a post about some of the things I was desiring. I am pleased to inform you that I got the big one: a hard case for Hamlet.

He just loves it! It’s green and gorgeous. I went with the Bobelock, and I couldn’t be happier! Well, that’s not entirely true. The one problem I’ve experienced so far is that the case stinks inside. It’s definitely not a new car kind of smell. (That would be fantastic, because I love that new car smell!) I really can’t describe the odor, but it’s taking a long time to fade. I have sprayed the interior with Febreze and body splash to no avail. I don’t want to spray too much because I don’t want to harm it. But geez! Stinky!

I’ve also gotten some more MAC pigments. I think I only had Copperclast and the four small ones from last year’s holiday set when I posted my list of wants. I now have three more full size pigments (Shimmertime, Accent Red, and Sweet Sienna) and four minis (Helium, Softwash Grey, Naval Blue, and Forest Green) from this year’s cool pigment/glitter set.

It’s nice to sometimes be able to get some things that you want, isn’t it?

It’s been a while…

I haven’t forgotten my blog, but I have neglected it for a while. I’ve been crazily busy with school work and tutoring lately. Plus, I’ve started posting video makeup tutorials on YouTube. I know! Can you imagine? Check out my page: http://www.youtube.com/emsyjay. I’ve posted my videos on my blog, too. 🙂

There’s not really much to blog about right now. Actually, that’s not true. The truth is that I’m not going to blog right now. But I wanted to let any regular readers — because I’m sure I have regular readers 😉 — know that I’m still here, just quiet.

Autumn Has Finally Arrived!

I love autumn. It’s my favorite season. And even this year, when it is more stressful than any before, I am able to enjoy some of it. I love that the air gets crisp and the days get shorter. The artificial extra hour of sleep that comes with the end of Daylight Savings Time seems to benefit me for weeks. Twilight is full of jewel tones.

But the best part of autumn is the music. Well, there’s no widely accepted autumn sound, but I have my own. I like to listen to my favorites from Billie Holiday, Ella Fitzgerald, Billy Eckstine, and Johnny Hartman. And among those, my favorite timely songs are … you guessed it: Billie’s rendition of “Autumn in New York” and Johnny singing “Autumn Serenade.”

My Oh-I-want-that! List

In no particular order…

A Cello Case

I have had my current plush bag for as long as I’ve had Hamlet. It’s a wonder he’s still in one piece, considering how clumsy I can be sometimes. So, I’m in the market for a hard cello case.

Isn’t that pretty?! A copper colored case! Fiberglass, pretty, fits in my budget (sort of). There is also a slightly older model that comes in other fantastic colors as well:

I just have to research the brand (Core) some more. If it turns out to be shady, I’m probably going with something like this Bobelock one:

Although, now that I think about it, I don’t know much about Bobelock either. I just know that I’ve seen the name before. Hmm. Lots of research to do before I shell out $$.

Pigments

I have just started to experience the joy of mixing my own custom colors: nail polish, blush, lipgloss, etc. Right now I just have five MAC pigments: full-size Copperclast that I scored at the Williamsburg CCO and four minis (Old Gold, Vanilla, Chartreuse, and Tan) that I got for Christmas last year.

Always Pleasant Little Things

When I’m feeling down, I turn to one or more of my always pleasant little things — stuff I can do or experience or get that cheers me up a bit. I’d like to share some of them with you.

  1. The perfectly scented new bar of soap, body butter, body spray, etc.
  2. A pair of fluffy socks for walking around the house
  3. A cashmere sweater that I got on sale
  4. Leisurely sit-down bath
  5. Listening to Billie Holiday while driving on an autumn afternoon
  6. Nail polish that doesn’t chip for five days and the free time to aply it
  7. The sound of rain rustling the leaves
  8. Looking at my closet after organizing the clothes by color
  9. Taking off my bra at the end of a long day
  10. True autumn and spring weather — neither cold nor hot
  11. Cheesecake Factory strawberry shortcake
  12. Young plants peeking out of the ground in spring
  13. Sliding into freshly changed linens after a warm shower
  14. Exfoliating gloves
  15. Moisturizing gloves
  16. The perfect-enough pair of jeans 
  17. Snuggling down under the covers when I’m really sleepy and don’t have to get up early the next morning
  18. The first four and a half minutes of Keith Jarrett’s “Solara March”
  19. Peeping out the window at my first car
  20. Almost anything consisting primarily of peanut butter

Too Beautiful

I was in LensCrafters today and could not take my eyes off the huge promotional poster behind the adjustment table. It was a photograph of a gorgeous man (wearing glasses, of course 🙂 ). He was looking out from the picture with such confidence and something else, something deeply compelling. It was a look of interest, as if he might be attuned to everything about the people he sees — even though he’s just a photo. It’s a look of concentration and absorption that I have wanted to see reflected in someone else, and the beauty of the model has less to do with what his face looks like than the look on his face.

It’s really sad. I am at an age now where seeing that kind of beauty doesn’t make me happy. Rather, it leaves me dejected because I feel that no one will ever look at me like that in person. That intensity and interest that the model was able to conjure up just looking at a camera will always be foreign to me. When I was younger, such a face would leave me hopeful, and I was absolutely certain that there was some man out there who was going to gaze at me that way.

Now it just bums me the hell out.

Slump

Depression not only hurts; it’s damn ugly. I woke up this morning looking like a worn-out forty-seven year old, at the youngest. Some ugmo cosmetics simply cannot cover.

Friday Night Lite

So, it’s a lovely Friday evening in the Commonwealth, and what do you think Maya is doing?

Catching a movie?
Going to a club?
Checking out the newest and hippest restaurant in the Capital City?
Going to a friend’s house for some laughs and maybe a DVD or two?

If you thought it was one of those, you haven’t caught up with Maya recently, have you? No, tonight she is excited about inventorying her cosmetics. Yes. Inventory.

Sigh.

Feeling Good?

I’ve had a rough couple of days. I feel anxious. Thursday night I decided to calm that feeling by joining facebook and finding friends I haven’t spoken to in a while. That has helped some.
But what about later tonight? And tomorrow? What if I don’t feel better? How do make myself feel better?

Earlier this week, I was feeling good. I went to a friend’s birthday celebration and for the first time since I left DC, I felt like an absolutely free human being, like I could be myself and be happy at the same time. The problem is that I don’t know how to create that feeling when I want to. So I’m just at the will of brain chemicals, apparently.

There is thin silver lining, though. I got some cosmetics day before yesterday. Yayyyyyy! From MAC: another Moonbathe lipglass (mine from the summer is just about gone, and it was just perfect perfect perfect) and Smut eyeshadow. From Ulta: L’Oreal Voluminous eyeliner, HIP Shocking Shadow Pigment in Intrepid (looks like the result of a mating between MAC’s Club eyeshadow and Blue Brown pigment), HIP Brilliant Shine Lipgloss in Enticing, NYX lip pencil in Auburn, and Sally Hansen Salon Nail Lacquer in Baroque Bronze.

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