Too Beautiful

I was in LensCrafters today and could not take my eyes off the huge promotional poster behind the adjustment table. It was a photograph of a gorgeous man (wearing glasses, of course 🙂 ). He was looking out from the picture with such confidence and something else, something deeply compelling. It was a look of interest, as if he might be attuned to everything about the people he sees — even though he’s just a photo. It’s a look of concentration and absorption that I have wanted to see reflected in someone else, and the beauty of the model has less to do with what his face looks like than the look on his face.

It’s really sad. I am at an age now where seeing that kind of beauty doesn’t make me happy. Rather, it leaves me dejected because I feel that no one will ever look at me like that in person. That intensity and interest that the model was able to conjure up just looking at a camera will always be foreign to me. When I was younger, such a face would leave me hopeful, and I was absolutely certain that there was some man out there who was going to gaze at me that way.

Now it just bums me the hell out.



  1. Modalities said,

    October 30, 2007 at 6:48 pm

    Patience, Grasshopper.

  2. Brea said,

    December 8, 2007 at 11:55 pm

    Don’t be so hard on yourself. In fact, love yourself even more. No man is going to love you unless you love yourself first. Your guy will come when he sees the confidence glowing from you. Hang in there! 🙂

  3. monretta said,

    December 9, 2007 at 12:05 am

    I’m a 28 year old single bf PhD student, and it is hard to be patience, I know I am cute, but that doesn’t always matter with most men, but there are some good men out there, and although patience is a virtue is it also a challenge…PS love the videos keep at it. You are defiantly a beautiful and talented women, and you need to make sure you always know, that even if you are the only one telling yourself that sometimes.

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