“The Good ‘Ask'” from Lizzie Post

In tonight’s web crawling, I came across this bit of dating etiquette from Lizzie Post’s book, How Do You Work This Life Thing?  I’ve just excerpted a portion, but you can see the entire piece of advice at http://www.emilypost.com/lifething/tips/asking_out.htm.  Hopefully this will be helpful for all the still-singles out there.  We are a rare and wonderful breed!


The Good “Ask”

A good “ask” would go something like this:

Tom: “Hi, Elise. How’s it going?”
Elise: “I’m great. How ’bout you?”
Tom: “I’m good, too. Listen, I was wondering if you’d like to go to dinner at that new Thai restaurant on Saturday. I know you’ve been wanting to try it ever since it opened.”

Regardless of whether Elise says yes or no, Tom has just executed a terrific ask. In two sentences, showing both consideration and confidence, he’s suggested a date and a place and indicated that he had considered Elise’s interests and tastes. Whether they’re just friends or he’s asking her out on a first date or they’ve been dating for some time, he did it right.

If the ask results in a “Yeah, sure,” this is the time to establish where and when you’re going to meet. Later, after Tom makes the dinner reservation, he’ll need to call Elise back and fill her in on other details, such as appropriate attire and whether he plans to take her to a movie or some other entertainment before or after dinner. (Tom can also send her the details by email, but a phone call is more personal—and isn’t that what dating is all about? Besides, with email, if the other person doesn’t check his or her in-box frequently, your message could go unread for some time.)

by Lizzie Post from emilypost.com


1 Comment

  1. Lizzie Post said,

    November 9, 2007 at 3:45 pm

    Hey came upon this and just wanted to say thanks for giving my book a shout out! I hope your readers enjoyed it. 🙂

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